Ok, so I'm trying to stay sane. But this just sucks. I've been fighting panic attacks for a few hours now, and news, although not that bad or anything, isn't helping. It feels like a cross between being terribly nervous, wound up on high levels of caffeine, eating rocks, plus being stepped on by an elephant. But not in the good way, like it was when I was young and dumb.
Found out that Maryn's caffeine level was on the low side, so no CPAP today. They bolused her and increased her daily dose in the hopes of trying it Thursday. Of course, she wasn't cooperating. She bradied at least 2 times that required bagging. Heart rate in the 60s and she wouldn't/couldn't get it back up on her own. Yeah, that doesn't help. Now tonight, come to find out that her head circumference went up a full 1/2 cm. The goal is 1 cm per WEEK. Oy. So now I'm worried that she needs to have her reservoir tapped again, and that they aren't going to notice or do it until after they try to get her on CPAP. And she WILL brady when they tap. And I don't know what nurse will have her Thursday - I know one of our favorites is definitely off. I wish I could just live at the hospital. With Jaime.