Thursday, July 15, 2010

NICU on Discovery Health

So there is this new program on Discovery Health about life in the NICU.  It premiered tonight. 

And no, I did not watch it.  I know it's a good thing, to try and educate the public about things like this. Heck, I wish I understood it more before our life in the NICU.  Maybe it would have been less of a shock.  And I'm sure the stories have "happy endings."  But that's not real life.  So how true is it?

I don't know if I can watch.  I don't know if I need to.  I lived it.  I breathed it.  For months.  And honestly, I don't know if I ever want to have to go back through that emotional journey again.  Ever.

And that's ok. 

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


So it has come to my attention that a few "strangers" might be checking this blog out in the near future.  And maybe a few others that are unexpected.  Thus, I need to make a few things clear.

#1.  This is a venting forum for me.  Life is tough for everybody.  This is one of my ways of dealing.  If you don't like what I have to say, click the little red X in the upper right corner of your browser.

#2.  I'm gonna cuss.  I rarely do it in real life, but this is different.  Sometimes, there aren't any other "polite" words that get the point across.  Deal with it.

#3.  I am VERY passionate about several things.  Most importantly my kids, their lives, their rights, and the fact that they deserve the world.  What's best for them supercedes what's best for ANYONE else.

#4.  I try to stay away from politics here.  But I don't always succeed.  Know this:  I'm 100% pro-life.  And I will say God forgive you if you are not.  I don't know if I can.  I am also a pro-gay rights, anti-gun, pro-self responsibility, pro-fiscal responsibility, anti-death penalty Republican.  Keep that in mind.

#5.  Feel free to leave comments.  Please do so with some sort of identifier.  I HATE "anonymous."  Please also make them respectful towards my kids.  You don't have to like me, but my kids, as I've said, deserve the world.  And Mama Bear will fight to the death for that.

#6.  Enjoy my the stories of my beautiful children.

Benefit for Maryn

Ok, so there is this benefit for M that is going to be on the 23rd.  Here are details, as I understand them.  I'm really just letting others do their thing with it, so I'm pretty clueless, but here goes...

Who:  Anyone is invited.  Sponsored by Page Gardens.  Proceeds will benefit Maryn, my 24 weeker who is now 15 months old.
Where:  Stonebridge Christian Church (about 1/2 mile north of Maple on 156th)
When:  Friday, July 23 from 5:30-8:00 pm
What:  Donations accepted at the door.  Donations will get you raffle tickets as well.  You choose which prize(s) you want to be in the drawing for.  They include movie passes, restaurant gift cards/discounts, a month of martial arts training, salon gift cards, skin care products, etc.  Also, there will be music and food (Thank you Red Zone Barbecue, Rotella Bakery, Delicious Bakery!!)

I will be posting a public thank you to all corporate donors around the time of the benefit.  They are still coming in.

If you have questions, feel free to post them here, email me, or search "Benefit for Maryn Page" on Facebook (my sister set up that page - thanks Bear!).  Same goes if anyone would like to donate good/services for the benefit and/or raffle.


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Dazed and confused.

J had another big seizure.  It was awful.  He was in my arms for the whole thing.  One moment, he was playing "mama, da-mah (that's Jaime for you non-fluent)."  The next moment my beautiful boy was completely rigid, contorted and terrified.  I just kept telling him "mama's here.  Mama's got you."  I wanted to make him feel better.  The whole thing lasted maybe 30 seconds.  I refused to let him go, even afterwards when he was completely unconscious.  He needed his mama.  Moreso, I needed to hold him.  After a call to the doc, David took him in to the ER. 

Well, either there were lots of emergencies, or they were having one hell of a coffee break.  Nearly 2 hours before I got the call from David.  I was not a happy camper.  So here's the plan - after talking to his neuro, we are starting a regiment of Keppra.  I hate the thought of him being on meds, but I don't want him to have to go through that hell again just because Mommy doesn't like drugs.  That's not fair. 

David got home with him right around 10 pm.  I guess he was asking for Mama the whole time.  And the moment I saw him, awake and semi-content, asking for Mama still, I burst into tears.  I don't think I've hugs or kissed him that much since the day he was born.  My precious, precious boy.

Some people might wonder what the big deal is.  Lots of kids have seizures.  Let them run their course, and odds are kids will out-grow them.  I wish it were that easy.  Since we don't have a diagnosis for J, everything hits me like a punch to the stomach.  Is this going to be something that kills him?  That I can't deal with.  I won't.  Not an option.