Monday, May 22, 2017

Time Hop

Time Hop on Facebook is a double edged sword.  Not how I needed to start this week.

I love seeing all the old posts, especially pictures of my kids.  Not that long ago, a picture of M sticking her tongue out like Gene Simmons came up.  Can't help but smile at something like that.  And shortly before that, I got to watch a video of J bouncing.  God I miss that.

Today wasn't as nice.  Showed a post from seven years ago.  Talking about J's first seizure the day before.  That was what started this whole nightmare.  I remember it like it was yesterday, literally.  M was in the hospital; pneumonia I think.  Nurse Mandi was in her room with me when I got the call from the kids' dad.  J had collapsed and started shaking.  I immediately said he needed to call for an ambulance, which he did.  I met them downstairs in the ER.  Yup, M was on 4th floor (I think it was 4) and J was in the ER.  He was alert by the time we all got there.  All the tests came back ok, so we were hoping it was a fluke.  Little did we know...

Monday, May 1, 2017

Not fair

So a friend of mine is getting ready to say goodbye to her little girl.  They've selected Wednesday as "the day." My heart goes out to her.  I can empathize with her pain, but I can never understand exactly how she feels. 

This is just not fair.  Her daughter has fought her battle long and hard, just like my J fought his disease.  She was a micro just like my Maryn.  She has a little brother to watch over.  She won't have to suffer any more, but that doesn't help.  This just fucking sucks.  No child is supposed to go before his/her parents.  I'd like to think we'd all change this if we could, but we are so helpless.  The proverbial "life isn't fair."  There is nothing anyone can say or do to make this any easier. 

I want to be there for my friend, but it's too soon.  I suck as a friend.  I just can't.

So Jaime, please watch out for Montana on Wednesday.  I told her mom I'd have you greet her and show her around.  She likes horses, so maybe you can show her the stable.  God bless you my sweet Buggy Boy.