There are a lot of well-meaning people around. Ones who offer to help out, watch J, bring food, just keep us company, etc. It's a blessing to know that so many other people care about my kids, even some people who have never met them. I am so grateful.
But every now and then, some people just need to STFU. Odds are, no one that reads this, in case you are wondering if it's you. But in case you need details....
- Don't pity us. Yes, taking care of our kids is not easy. But it is worth it. One smile from M, or having J say "mama" as I walk in just reiterates that. Too many people take such things for granted. We don't, partly because we have busted our asses off to achieve those small milestones. Showing up then having to wait in the car because you "don't know how we deal with it" just proves you are the ass I thought. It's ok to say you are sorry to hear that M is sick again, or that J needs testing. Just don't feel sorry that they are my kids. I wouldn't change that ever.
- Don't tell me decisions I make for my kids aren't appropriate. They are MINE. I will listen to advice, etc, but don't get offended if I choose a different path. I get to hear all sides, and all advice, from all doctors, specialists, family, friends, nurses, etc. Odds are, you only know a portion of their thoughts. As their parents, we know WAY more about all issues surrounding their health and development than any lay-person does.
- Keep your "it's my body" BS to yourself. I fought for M and am damn proud of it. And despite the risk to my life, I'd do it again in the blink of an eye. She deserves to be around only people who think she is/was worth fighting for.
- Do not judge me if I get uneasy or panicky around pregnant women, newborns, or even TV shows (ie - A Baby Story, medical dramas, etc). I understand all too well what is going on. Been there. Done that. I still feel that fear. Daily. On my own. Don't care to relive it just because you find it entertaining.
- If it get sad about the "new normal" or "Holland," just give me a hug and let me be. I don't need you arguing the awesomeness of my kids to me. I know it better than anyone. But that doesn't mean I can't get upset from time to time.
- Do NOT take my jokes about mass quantities of tequila seriously. Really. You must not know me at all if you think I'm going to become a drunk like that. But if I want a drink or two, that's ok too. It's not like I'm doing even that every day. Hell, or even every week. Most of the time not even every month.
-It's ok to live on chocolate, soda, coffee and cake for a few days if I want to. I know my food groups. I understand the consequences of ignoring them for a few days. It will be ok.
Now off to take on some of that chocolate. Saving the coffee for the morning.