Whiny mommy. This time, it's about money.
When David and I decided to have kids, we knew money would be tight. Food, diapers, wipes, doctors' appointments, etc. What we didn't realize was that there are tons of "hidden fees."
We didn't know that J would require special bottles that cost $9 each. We didn't know that he would have SO many doctors' appointments (plastic surgeon, dentist, genetics, ENTs, pedi, neuro, optho, audio, PT, OT, feeding specialists....), thus the co-pays. We didn't know that we would have to buy him special shoes - the $10 ones from Walmart just won't cut it with him. We didn't know that insurance was going to deny his leg braces because it's "developmental." (Don't get me started on they hypocracy of that one. We'd be here all day.) We didn't know J would still be in diapers as he approaches his 4th birthday.
We didn't know M would spend her first 5 months in the hossy. We didn't know insurance would deny the claim for using nitric to save her life because it was not a proven drug (asshats - I'll show you the proof.) We didn't know we'd be at the hospital so often with her that we'd learn the coffee-shop lady's name. We didn't know she'd come home with so many machines. We didn't know that said machines would use SO much energy (our electric bill has nearly tripled since she came home). We didn't know we'd be so used to so many medications that we can spell them out for the doctors/nurses. We didn't know transportation would become an issue, as my car cannot fit them both with all the bags they require.
We didn't know how financially taxing children could be. We struggle from day to day. I must thank God for medicaid, as we would really be in a world of hurt without that. But sometimes, it's just not enough. How do you explain to people that you need a new car? Not just because you are tired of the one you have, but because you need the space for your children and their machinery. How do you explain the need for a bigger house? Not just because we are tired of this one or don't like it, but because with all of the kids' "stuff," we are literally tripping over their machines and contraptions. Which bank is going to listen to those pleas? Which utility is going to understand a tripling bill just isn't in our budget? What do we cut out? Soup for J? Yogurt for him? After all, those are some of the only things he'll eat. Or do we go without a med? How about the mortgage?
Ugh. My kids are worth every cent, every headache, every argument, every smile. I would do it again in the blink of an eye without hesitation. And I don't mind going without all the fancy crap most moms my age have. David is great about not requiring much for himself either. But for once, it would be nice to NOT have to worry about how to pay for their necessities.