Saturday, April 3, 2010

In the meantime 3/31-4/1

I was unconscious, but I heard this part of the story from friends and family after the fact.

My mom went to the NICU with the baby.  Our priest was unreachable, but my mother-in-law did reach the pastor that had married us.  As he was preparing to baptize her, my mom made an executive decision (that I agree with 100%).  She was to be named Maryn Elizabeth.  It's what I always wanted to name her, but I was afraid of using it if I was going to lose her.  Then I would have named her Angelique.  But she really was always my Maryn.  And my sister Carrie and her husband Dan were to be godparents.  The pictures are quite stunning.  As she was being blessed, she looked so peaceful.  But I know she was fighting something fierce. 

She gave the docs and nurses a run for their money that night.  But as I said, she was a fighter.  First, the fact that she even HAD apgar scores was a miracle.  She was trying to kick.  Of course, as the battle ensued, she began to weaken, so there were lots of interventions.  Ventilator, dopamine, art line, bili lights, nitric, etc. 

I was another catch.  I ended up seizing, going unconscious, and some stories even say I unofficially coded, deciding to breath just as they were ready to "push the button."  I was hemmorhaging like no other and transported to the ICU.  Great, BOTH of us in the ICU. 

I needed 8 out of the 9 units of blood in my body replace, plus additional blood products.  I have no idea how much of which products I got.  I do know I gained 20 pounds overnight.  I woke long enough overnight to tell the docs to just do the 2nd IV in my foot.  They had tried at least 4 spots on my left arm (I already had an IV in my right), and they were desperate.  Everything was collapsing.  "It might hurt more than usual" they said.  Whatever, you've poked me how many times with how many bruises, and you're worried about a needle in the ankle?  I didn't care.  "I wax my legs - this can't be any worse" I told them.  Gotta hang on to humor when you are trying not to die.

Turns out, e.coli had snuck in between my uterus and the bag of waters when all this started.  The antibiotics kept it in check at first, but it fought back with a vengeance once I was off them.  It entered my blood stream, leading to sepsis, septic shock and then finally DIC.  Don't ask me what the acronym literally stands for.  But in essence, my blood lost all clotting factors.  If you watched Private Practice, the one where they try to save Violet after the crazy lady steals her baby, well, that was basically me.  Minus the nutso.

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