Easter approaches

So this is supposed to be the biggest holiday in the Catholic faith.  But I tell you what, I sure as hell don't feel like celebrating.  Call me selfish or whatever, I don't care.  Spring and Easter are supposed to represent new life.  Yet my son is gone.  Holidays are a time for families to gather together.  A huge piece of mine is missing.  Longer days mean more light.  Yet my world is permanently in the shadows.

I can't get any Easter basket stuff together, because it's not a holiday without him.  Hunting for Easter baskets for just his sister and not him is just not right, not okay.  I won't even be able to eat.  Ham and potatoes were some of his favorite things to eat.  I can't eat or even buy his favorite foods.

So while I'm forever thankful that God promises a life together beyond this realm, I think I'll just spend the day asleep, trying to avoid life in general.  And if you want to help, distract me with anything NOT Easter.

Fuck you Aetna

So yesterday I get a bill from the Med Center.  $300.  From September.  For J.  Because the damn insurance company was throwing a hissy fit.  They didn't know they were primary insurance.  WTF?  How can you not know that?  Yes, J had Medicaid, but that hasn't changed in over 7 years.  So because you can't get your damn act together, I had to call about my dead son's medical claims.  I will never forgive you for this.  I'd say fuck you and the horse you rode in on, but the horse is innocent.  And have fun paying more claims for me now that you put me through this shit.