Wednesday, March 17, 2010

OYA 3/17

Status quo.  Nothing much was going on, other than me going stir crazy.  Punkin was doing ok.  I was surviving miserably.

I hadn't seen Jaime since we went to the hospital Friday night.  This was, hands down, the WORST time of my life.  Not only did I not know if my baby girl was going to survive, but I wasn't able to see Buggy very often either.  And he's my ray of sunshine.  He brightens my day.  Yet stuck in that hospital bed on my back, I couldn't see him.  It wouldn't be in Punkin's best interest to have Jaime bouncing all over her.  I missed him terribly even though I talked to him on the phone at LEAST once a day.  It wasn't the same.  I couldn't get cuddles or kisses from him.  I couldn't ask him to make "nice baby" and watch him rub my belly.  Oh God!  What if we lost Punkin?  How would I explain that to him?  There really isn't a way to put it into words how awful it was.

At the same time, I was praying for ONE MORE DAY.  ONE MORE DAY would get us to 23 weeks.  Yes, ideally we'd go longer, but that was the bare minumum.  She would have a chance.  Please God, at least one more day.

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