5 Aug

Ugh. I'm back at work. So prepare yourself for lots of whining and bitching in the near future.

But Jaime is so freakin' cute. He LOVES to dance to the radio while eating breakfast. He puts his fists out and bounces them up and down. And he totally knows what he's doing. You can see it in his eyes. My mom taught him this naaaaa-na-na-na-naaaaa song. He'll dance if you sing it, then start saying "na-na-na" to encourage you to keep going. LOVE IT!

Maryn is stable. No news from the neurosurgeon, which of course is driving me batty. Why they can't make it in to see her within 36 hours is beyond me. I just want an answer dammit. Is pressure building up in her brain or not? And the resident who came by seemed clueless. No answers whatsoever. I thought he just needed an Oreo and a glass of milk.

I did convince the doc to switch her, at least temporarily, back to the original formula. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "but she can't go home on that formula" over the past week. First, shut up about it! I wanted to breastfeed her, but I was so sick, that there was no way. So thanks for reminding me! Second, don't tell me that is this ends up being the ONLY thing she can tolerate that we won't be able to get it. Yeah, it might be a pain in the ass, but don't tell me it's impossible. There has to be some way if that's what it takes. Third, if it doesn't help with the vomitting, at least we'll know for sure that's not the problem.

Now for me - I swear if one more person tells me how wonderful or special or strong I am, I am going to puncture my eardrums! Seriously people. Stop feeling sorry for me. Yeah, I hate this situation more than anything. But I also have the two most beautiful kids in the world. I wouldn't trade them for all the tea in China. Yes, it's hard. But any parent worth their salt would do the same. I have to just suck it kup and deal with it. I whine, complain, piss and moan, cry, etc, but it's just my way of dealing. You know how I hate the lack of control. So please, if you're searching for something to say to me, tell me how beautiful my kids are. Tell me how glad you are to see Maryn getting so big. Tell me that Jaime's smile makes you melt. Just don't pity me please. This is hard enough as it is, and that just might push me over the edge.