29 july

well, well, well...

Jaime is a cuddle bug. He will not leave my side until after lunch. Which for him is about 2 pm of course. But he's wonderful. And those pucker kisses he's always giving out can't help but make me smile.

And I'm very thankful for those little things that keep me smiling.

I've been getting back into an angry rut re: Maryn. I'm pissed at the world because she shouldn't have to go through any of this. She's done nothing wrong. I just wanna punch something. Possibly myself. But then I get more and more pissed for feeling this way. Joy of the never-ending spiral.

Maryn has been spitting more. Ok, not just spitting, but projectile vomitting. Seriously. I guess she hit the chair that is about 1 1/2 feet away from her crib this morning. And pretty much after every feeding. Thought it might be only when she doesn't burp. Nope. Maybe if we suction her too quickly. Not that. Perhaps she needs to stay upright for a while after eating. Didn't help.

*I* think it's due to a change in formula. Doc said it could be some stomach stinosis (sp) thingy (narrowing just below the stomach leading to small intestine). Only fix for that would be surgery. YAY! (Insert glare here) Well, the tests for that came back negative. So no surgery needed, but no clear cause to the problem either. So, she's off formula for 24 hours. On pedialyte. Yumm-o. They'll try to reintroduce probably the same formula tomorrow, since the thought is she might just have a stomach bug. (Of course, she's not showing any other signs of being sick - no temp, no poop problems, no lethargy, and she still wants and tries to eat) If that doesn't go well, I'll be convinced that it's the formula. But here's to hoping I'm wrong - I don't wanna see my girl go through that!

Oh, and some doctors need to be impaled through their self-centered, heartless torsos. Of course I'm kidding, but there are some terrible ones out there. Today, I asked to talk to the neurologist. When he came in, he looked all confused and told me "I thought I already explained all this to your husband." Um, yeah. But he's not a doc, and I'm not a doc. So I wanted to talk to the doc personally! Get some answers to my questions that David didn't know to ask! You schmuck. Needless to say, we won't be seeing him again. Thankfully a little birdy told me that Jaime's old neuro is back in town and working in schmuck's office.

And we have been trained on portable suction machine, regular suction machine, infant CPR with a trach, apnea monitor, humidity thingy, portable oxygen tank, main oxygen machine with add-on, and back-up oxygen tank for emergencies. All since Monday. I have blue painters' tape on these things to help me remember what the hell does what. I think I'm secretly being trained to be a car mechanic.

Ya wonder why I needed a night out?