30 June

I'm stressed, I'm cranky, I'm about ready to pull my hair out.

Maryn self-extubated AGAIN today. I was just holding her, and she decided that she'd cough it out. Now. I guess she didn't want to wait until next week. So gee, that was fun. This after days of her broncho-spasming. And I guess yesterday, they needed to bag her SEVEN times. This damn tube is starting to get to me. I completely understand the doc wanting to go with the initial plan (steroids on Sat, extubation on Mon) so that he's around when they do everything and so that they are fully staffed (holiday this weekend and all), but it's still frustrating. Actually, I'm beyond frustrated. I'm starting to get pissed. At the world.

And we are getting ready to head back home, so let's pile on the stress. I'm looking forward to it, but it's, well....stressful! I'm worried about taking care of Jaime without help. I'm still SO tired, no matter how much I sleep. And will I still be able to make it to the hospital enough? And what about when I have to go back to...ugh...work? What then?

Oh yeah, how about $$ too? My last check was about 3/5 of the norm. Thank God for savings accounts. And I haven't even begun to look at medical bills.

And our 5th anniversary is Thursday. David, God bless him, is wanting to go all out. I'm just so at the end of my rope, I just hope I can at least moderately enjoy dinner.